THEATRE REVIEW: She’s Crowning: Rebirth
02.02.2023 at Q Theatre
*This review contains spoilers
This review is part of the Auckland Pride Review Project - a collaborative project between four local publications (Pantograph Punch, Theatrescenes, Bad Apple Gay and Rat World) to provide more critical discourse around queer theatre and performance work. We will be reviewing a range of shows throughout the month of Pride - so keep a look out and go support our local queer performers!
Photo Sourced from Auckland Pride Festival 2023
This one is for the queens, both ripe and rotten. She’s Crowning: Rebirth is a riotous skit-fest of royal proportions that genuinely had me guffawing like a pompous old prick. The brainchild of Murdoch Keane and Peter Burman, She’s Crowning: Rebirth is a satirical take on The Crown, or its real life counterpart, The Windsors™. It’s safe to say She’s Crowning: Rebirth goes places The Crown would never even dream of, and it shines a whole new light on what it means to be royal - royally fucked, that is!
Keane and Burman bring the tiffs and squabbles from the halls of Buckingham Palace to the fore as they explore the cast of nutty characters who seem inescapable in the media. The fact that we even have a royal family to begin with is absurd enough to draw us in from the outset. As a culture, we’re all royal-obsessed. We want to know the ins and outs of The Firm, we pick sides as petty squabbles lead to very public fallouts, and we will never let Diana rest in peace. It seems only fitting, then, that Keane and Burman capitalise on this royal fever in a way that perhaps no one else is daring enough to do.
“She’s Crowning: Rebirth is a riotous skit-fest of royal proportions that genuinely had me guffawing like a pompous old prick”
The play starts with an ode to the queens of television - the legends and icons who have become memes, who make up a sizable portion of gay lexicon. This chaotic stream of references performed over the White Lotus theme song alerts you to the scenes that are about to unfold. Queen Liz and Margaret rap in their poshest accents, juxtaposed against profanities and sexual innuendo (in fact, it goes well past innuendo) to draw huge laughs from the audience. We know that the royals are big fans of incest, but Keane and Burman want us to believe that Prince Philip’s inclination towards keeping it in the family is not exclusive to his cousin-wife, but extends towards his favourite daughter Princess Anne. I wish I could say that this is as absurd as it gets, but the envelope gets pushed so far in this 70 minute showcase that the Royal Mail wrote a letter of complaint.
The clear highlights were a guest appearance by “reluctant queer icon” Greta Thunberg, and Prince Harry reading his new children’s book, longing to be seen as “Harry The Man” despite his ridiculously privileged life. It’s unfortunate that Harry The Man is no match for the actual bizarre penile revelations in Spare, but Keane and Burman one-up the talcum todger with a lip-syncing penis complete with a ribbon cumshot. And if you think that’s the only cumshot you will get in these mere 70 minutes, you would be completely wrong. No, alas, we must address Camilla’s obsession with horses which leads to the best five minutes of shadow puppetry you will ever see. When I say I was screaming! Camilla’s intimate relations with a horse brought a new meaning to the terms “horse girl” and “thoroughbred” at the same time. This was the true peak of the show and nothing could surpass the hilarity and discomfort - exactly what the royals deserve.
Ultimately, She’s Crowning: Rebirth was an excellent comedic offering this Pride season. The lulls between skits were barely long enough for the audience to catch their breaths before releasing it all in raucous laughter again. While Buckingham Palace perhaps has never been gayer, she sure has seen some scandals in her time, and Keane and Burman were ever ready to make their own. I would say that Queen Lizzy was turning in her grave, but it turns out that Keane and Burman ate her. I would go out of my way to see this play again, if only I could get the deranged image of horse fellatio out of my head.
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Check out more about She’s Crowning: Rebirth here!